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The Wire Brush of Enlightenment
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Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in adfp's LiveJournal:

Monday, October 29th, 2007
2:07 pm
I don't know if anyone cares, but I've just stumbled upon this site after googling the phrase "wire brush of enlightenment." Not that I expect anyone to remember me from Usenet or anything.

Anyhow, our division has made our budget for the year and we're off to "celebrate." Be still my heart, I get to spend an afternoon out of the office, bowling with my cow-orkers. One of the oh-so-many peevesome things about this is that this so-called celebration is being held in Raleigh, even though I work in Durham. So I get to drive to Rah-lee, burning perfectly good $2.79/gallon gasoline, to pretend to socialize with people I don't like, and then drive back to Durham after it is finally over.
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
12:38 pm
There goes Bod....
... And I bet he'll need more than a few milkshakes!

If you remember James Wallis, you may be interested in knowing he's going to be walking the Pilgrims' Way - as closely as it can be found nowadays - from Winchester to Canterbury as the pilgrims would have done it ("that doesn't mean fancy robes, minstrels and a falcon on my wrist, but it does mean no GPS, sat-nav, digital routefinder or MP3 player. It also means no maps") as a fundraiser for Cancerbackup.

He will, however, be blogging the journey - http://www.magnumopuspress.com/blog/ - or see the feed at 120maplessmiles.

But in any case, the URL for sponsorship is: http://www.justgiving.com/jameswallis
Saturday, September 11th, 2004
5:25 pm
Hello. Rant x-posted from my own journal as feorag thought it might be appreciated here:

Work is an odd mix of good fun & utter shite.

I was told today that had my boss known that the only reason I didn't apply for the supervisor position was that I didn't realise it was open, he'd have given me the job this afternoon without an interview or anything. He found out an hour or so after he'd offered it to someone who had had to apply, get interviewed etc.

I am had some fucking asshole woman call up today threatening to tell the Daily Star how terrible I am personally (& 2 of the guys who work with me too apparently) for 'shouting' at her. What actually happened was that I told her that if she wanted me to answer her questions she was going to have to let me speak and stop interrupting. The fact is, she dropped her phone so it's not getting repaired for nothing as the warranty's invalidate- buttons don't spontaneously fall off mobile phones. Moron.

I did consider suggesting that she pass on our number to the Daily Star in case they needed help spelling the big words.

G wonders why I don't like people; why I think people are rampaging morons who should not be allowed access to communication with anyone who isn't a total tard; why I don't jump for joy like a compulsive-eater in an ice cream factory at the prospect of 'meeting new people.' I'll tell you why- I know what people are like. I come into contact with 'new people' day in, day out. They are lying, unpleasant, rude, ignorant, ill-mannered, semi-literate scum who, in most cases, can't even speak their native language correctly. Your phone is not broke- it's broken. IT IS NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT TO USE THE CORRECT PART OF THE VERB.

I am confident anyone who's spent any time dealing with the public will back me up on this. Communities like customers_suck exist for a reason.


Current Mood: annoyed
Monday, February 23rd, 2004
10:47 am
Dog People
Note to self: Never Ever buy a car from a dog owner again.

It seems that Ms. Murial Han owns some sort of rat dog, a fluffy, stinky rat dog. It also seems that Ms. Han is allergic to vacuum cleaners. There is dog hair everyfucking place in the car. It smells like the ASPCA. Even after the car sat in the auction yard for a month or so, and at RC's shop, or my house for about a month, it still smells like dog.

We spent what seemed like hours trying to get the doghairs out on Saturday. We got most of them, enough to weave a blanket probably. There's still a bunch, the car still stinks. I swear, it's worse than buying a car from a smoker.

The next thing I'll have to try is to take the car to a carwash where they have industrial strength vacuum cleaners and underpaid laborers and pay them $20 to vacuum out the car.
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
7:11 pm
Sample and Hold
There is a sign at work:
"This is a Sample and Hold device.
After you leave your sample,
please hold down the handle
until the contents have cleared".

As you may guess, the sign is on a toilet. One of those mandated "low flow" toilets, that borders on worse than useless. If you just flush it, like you would a normal toilet, it merely puts a small amount more water into the bowl. If all that you've done, is piss, I expect that it dilutes the mixture slightly. It certainly doesn't flush anything.

If you leave something more substantial, the only way to get anything to happen is to hold the handle down. Continuously. Until enough water dribbles into the bowl to instigate the siphon effect. This seems to take about 5 minutes, though it's probably closer to 45 seconds. Once you reach the critical level, the toilet usually flushes. That is if you haven't dropped a turd any more substantial than that a siamese cat might.

Drop a grogan that is actually worth the bother of dropping trou for, and you've got about a 20% chance that the toilet will just swirl your little turd sculpture around a bit, and it probably won't even go through the flush cycle, leaving the bowl full of both water and shit.

The piece of shit is supposed to be inside the bowl, not the bowl itself.
Thursday, February 5th, 2004
3:36 pm
Online Personals
http://www.craigslist.org has free, anonymous, online personals. Over the past few years, I've met some really cool people through that venue. Even when I'm not "in the market" they are fun to peruse.

Since they are anonymous, it's fun to post random, off the wall ads, just to see if anyone responds. One friend once posted something to the effect of:
"female, breathing"
as her ad, and got about 20 replies.

To me, one of the most humorous, or ironic things about them is the lists of requirements. Not preferences, but requirements, especially when you read the rest of the ad. For example the number of women under 5'4" who insist on guys over 6' tall. Then there is the BBWs (Big Beautiful Woman, i.e. fat chick) who want a tall handsome professional. I admit that from what I hear, the guys are just as bad at this, I just don't tend to read the men seeking women ads.

Another requirement that I often find amusing is "clean shaven". I can understand a preference for guys who don't, or do, have beards. On the other hand, it's not like it's something, like height, that can't be changed. To me, specifying the state of a guys facial hair is about the same as a guy writing an ad requiring that the woman wear a green dress. I've got a beard because I think that I look better with one. I used to shave it off and reveal a strong, square chin. Now I shave it off and reveal a couple of them. However, if I were to meet someone I really liked, who strongly disliked beards, I'd shave. On the other hand, I'm not going to shave just for a blind date that, statistically, won't go any further than that particular meal.

There is the ongoing entertainment from people who have no concept of how their words present themselves online. Spelling and grammar count folks. Occasional typos are one thing, but why do so many women who write at about a third grade level say that they are smart and want to meet a smart guy?
Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
11:55 am
The Firewall, The Scolds, A Change of Pace
You know what? I'm tired of it. Life's tough enough as it is. If I want to take a minute away from work, I don't feel like being piled on, insulted, or verbally abused. If I want to peeve, I'd like to peeve, period. Don't give me another peeve.

I don't want to be "on stage" or "off stage". I just want to peeve. I don't want a big argument wherein someone tells me how to feel. I just want to peeve. I want to amuse myself. I want a distraction from the rest of my day.

I'm pulling off another venue, too. That venue seems to be populated by ex-hippies in their fifties who like to scold and lecture and overreact. I'm 47, you are not my mother, don't tell me how to live. I'm not going to learn some great life lesson from a snarky and insulting message in text form on my computer from someone I rarely see and have no emotional connection with.

I got clued into this space and two others. So far, in this space, I have hooked up with a huge number of people who know my neighbors and are folks I am likely to deal with on a regular basis. The level of discourse in this space is cordial, supportive, and non-abusive. I can really get to like it. I hope this incarnation of adfp proves to be more like the face-to-face meetings we've had across the United States and Western Europe.

Current Mood: determined
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
3:05 pm
Hallmark Haulidaze
A key premise in job hunting is that your resume won't get you a job, it's only a means for the potential employer to decide who not to interview. In other words, it won't help you win, it'll only make you lose.

I feel very much the same about the "Hallmark Holidays", the recently fabricated holidays where people are guilted into sending cards and/or token gifts. I'm generally pretty thoughtless about gift giving. If I see something that I think someone should have, I tend to get it for them without thinking about it too much. If I'm lucky, it'll synchronize with a traditional gift giving occasion. On the other hand, I tend to have a hard time getting someone a gift because I'm obligated to. Just as gifts are hard to get for me, because if I want something that someone else could afford to get me, I've probably already gotten it. (I do tend to keep a list of stuff that I'd like at http://www.red4est.com/lrc/want.html because people have long bitched about this trait of mine) In the same vein, if there is something that I want to get for someone, I'm likely to do so whether or not there's an obligatory occasion coming up.

Perhaps the worst Hallmark Holiday is Valentine's day. I don't have hard numbers confirming it, but I've heard a lot of anecdotal evidence that relationships that get torpedoed on Valentine's day outnumber relationships that do well on VD by three or four to one. The biggest cause for this is mismatched expectations. One member of the relationship considers it to be an important symbolic occasion, the other doesn't consider it at all important. The first person then equates the lack of fuss with "you don't think I'm important" rather than "Valentine's day is not important". The other case is, when one person thinks that the relationship is much more serious than the other and the mismatched expectations bring this difference out into the cold hard light of day.
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