lrc (lrc) wrote in adfp,

Hallmark Haulidaze

A key premise in job hunting is that your resume won't get you a job, it's only a means for the potential employer to decide who not to interview. In other words, it won't help you win, it'll only make you lose.

I feel very much the same about the "Hallmark Holidays", the recently fabricated holidays where people are guilted into sending cards and/or token gifts. I'm generally pretty thoughtless about gift giving. If I see something that I think someone should have, I tend to get it for them without thinking about it too much. If I'm lucky, it'll synchronize with a traditional gift giving occasion. On the other hand, I tend to have a hard time getting someone a gift because I'm obligated to. Just as gifts are hard to get for me, because if I want something that someone else could afford to get me, I've probably already gotten it. (I do tend to keep a list of stuff that I'd like at because people have long bitched about this trait of mine) In the same vein, if there is something that I want to get for someone, I'm likely to do so whether or not there's an obligatory occasion coming up.

Perhaps the worst Hallmark Holiday is Valentine's day. I don't have hard numbers confirming it, but I've heard a lot of anecdotal evidence that relationships that get torpedoed on Valentine's day outnumber relationships that do well on VD by three or four to one. The biggest cause for this is mismatched expectations. One member of the relationship considers it to be an important symbolic occasion, the other doesn't consider it at all important. The first person then equates the lack of fuss with "you don't think I'm important" rather than "Valentine's day is not important". The other case is, when one person thinks that the relationship is much more serious than the other and the mismatched expectations bring this difference out into the cold hard light of day.
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I am so bad about birthdays. I just cannot remember them for the life of me. I pull out the stops for Christmas. I think New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day are the pits because there's that whole hit of "YOU MUST BE IN A COUPLE OR YOU MISS OUT". But, my dad sends me a Valentine every year. I wish that Valentine's Day could be an innocent holiday again, where you can send flirty pink paper to friends without it meaning something more loaded with import.
Well, why not just send flirty pink paper valentines to people? I, for one, would not read anything into it. CLB sent me a valentine last year.

I don't mind Valentine's Day. It's an excuse to eat out, although some of the most hackneyed menus in the world appear at even very nice restaurants on that day. I've never heard of giving presents for the day, either. Except maybe a token thing like flowers or chocolates, but in a relationship that sort of gift is exchanged regularly, anyway. I just got a bouquet of tulips for Groundhog's Day, presumably not at the behest of the Hallmark Corporation.

As for birthdays, after you pass 18, going all out for a birthday is kind of childish. I'm constantly surprised by how touchy people can be about their birthday and the supposedly required celebrations. If you're over 18 and you want a birthday party, just throw the damned thing yourself, or ask a friend to throw one for you as a present. If people forgot your birthday, it just means they forgot it, not that they hate you. Jesus. (Not addressed to the present readership, unless Donna has found this.)